My Studio:
Many skeptics, naysayers and non-believers have questioned how I could turn out the quality and volume of work that I do from a 12' x 12’ studio in a moldy, roach infested converted garage on Miami Beach. This has lead to much speculation and rumor. For many reasons, which may include National Security protocols, I am not at liberty to confirm or deny that the following pictures and statements of fact are representative of my actual pottery studio*.
Here is a tour of what might actually be my studio.
Here is a tour of what might actually be my studio.
The Facade
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Unless you have a Level 6 or above Security Clearance, this is what you will see when you visit 'my studio.' |
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The Real Studio (*Area 52) (which cannot be confirmed or denied)
The exterior:
By using my life experience in subterranean construction, logistics, molecular physics, ceramic chemistry, generous political contributions and magic, I and a small army of contractors have created what I believe to be the finest pottery studio in existence today, above or beneath the earth.
As you can see, it appears that this simple shack rests on top of 6 dead tree stumps. How wrong you might be. One of those stumps is the elevator leading down to my real studio. The others carry fresh air, water, food, raw materials and electricity to the myriad of spaces you will now get to see in this 1,728,000 square foot underground complex, which again, I cannot confirm or deny actually exists.
By using my life experience in subterranean construction, logistics, molecular physics, ceramic chemistry, generous political contributions and magic, I and a small army of contractors have created what I believe to be the finest pottery studio in existence today, above or beneath the earth.
As you can see, it appears that this simple shack rests on top of 6 dead tree stumps. How wrong you might be. One of those stumps is the elevator leading down to my real studio. The others carry fresh air, water, food, raw materials and electricity to the myriad of spaces you will now get to see in this 1,728,000 square foot underground complex, which again, I cannot confirm or deny actually exists.
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Pottery Production Associates
Our Pottery Associates can be involved with all phases of the pottery making process. In fact, it is rumored that many of our best Associates may have previously trained in similar conditions manufacturing popular smart phones in China.
We categorically deny any rumors which may implicate our complex as being the prototype for those current smart phone manufacturing facilities. Our subterranean location completely negates any need for safety netting around the exterior of our facility. |
Bisque and Glazing Kilns
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Because of the size of these kilns they are kept at a considerable distance from the pottery. We use 2-way conveyor belts in an ingenious 4-step production system we call the “4-step production system”.
A little known fact- a pot made in our studio will travel 13.6 cumulative miles on our conveyer belt system before it ends up in your cupboard. 
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The Warehouse
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The warehouse is extensive. It is organized by both type of pot, glaze color and year of production. In fact, we just received the highest energy star rating from the U.S. government, although they cannot confirm or deny their knowledge of the existence of this facility. We here at Gary Rosenberg Pottery are doing our part to save the earth.
It is rumored that Steven Spielberg used my warehouse for the final scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark. Again, I cannot confirm or deny this rumor. |
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Shipping and Delivery
Always concerned about our carbon footprint, we have devised a fuel efficient shipping system. Since the Amish have been using horse drawn buggies to deliver their world famous Amish Hand Crafted Heat Surge Electric Rolling Space Heaters with Hybrid-Thermic technology throughout the United States, (Only $199 today and $99.50 in two easy payments. Try it in your home risk free for 30 days!), we have formed a strategic partnership to have the buggy drivers include timely shipments of Gary Rosenberg Pottery to your door.
Where No Pot Has Gone Before
By combining our strategic partnership with the Amish and our possible (although unconfirmable) ties to advanced aerospace design technology, we will be launching our new delivery system, the Teleporter, within the next 5 years here at Gary Rosenberg Pottery. This teleportation technology was spearheaded by our Vice President of Transportation, Mr. Scott (or Scotty as we fondly call him). This space age technology (it is rumored that Gene Roddenberry stole our design prototype) can transport each buggy and its contents quickly to each state for efficient and timely delivery. 
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DISCLAIMER: All statements, allusions, images or characters appearing in this website are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, situations or business practices is purely coincidental. A conspiracy theorist would have you believe this is not true.